This is something that I wrote the other day. It is pretty self explanatory. I have an opportunity to maybe be a blog writer for and awesome local magazine here in Sacramento called Sacramento Parent. So I will let you know what happens with that I am SUPER excited about it. Anyway here it is. Like I said in my last post If you guys have any criticism or anything like that let me know! Your not gonna hurt my feelings, I love it!
I have done my best to teach Little Man to be polite and always have manners, to always be himself, but to not cause problems when problems don't need to be caused.
We are on our way home from school today and we are talking, as we always do, about his day. There is a girl that I know that he plays with on occasion. (We will call her Girl from now on)He all of a sudden looks up at my wide eyed, “Girl grabbed my arm and twisted it off today!” I am caught off guard. “ Well why did you let her do that?” I say. “I was playing and she ran up and she just grabbed it and she twisted it off! She is really strong!” he says, twisting his arm all over the place showing me how it all went down. “ You shouldn't let her do that.” I say, “Next time you yank it away so she can't twist it, do what you can to get away.” As I say those words it hits me that I am talking to a 5 year old boy. When I was 5 doing what I needed to to do something meant kicking, swinging and pushing, and I just gave him free reign to do it, to a girl none the less. Next I am imagining him getting called to the teacher and asking what happened and those great, awesome and powerful words being uttered from his innocent mouth, “My dad told me too!” Now I am being called into the principals office!
I quickly recant! “I mean don't hit or anything … ya know just don't let her have your arm.” Great! How do I explain this? “ Never hit anyone. That is not ok, and you never never never hit a girl no matter what is happening. You go talk to a teacher about it. Just remember Little Man you don't have to let things like that happen to you,” I tell him. He looks up at me with those eyes that tell me he's got what I'm saying for the most part. “Ok Daddy I don't hit, but I get away.” Perfect!
So we continue on our way home. We get there and we are walking in. “I ate half my sandwich today and I gave the other half to Girl. I thought that she didn't have a lunch, but she did,” he tells me.
“O ok. Did you ask her why she wanted your lunch?”
“ Yea, she just said, 'Give it to me I want it!' Its nice to share things so I let her have half.”
O awesome now my son is being bullied by a girl! Although is it really bullying if he is doing it to be nice and helpful?
“Yea your right, it is very nice to share, but remember if you don't want to give it to her you don't have too. It is your lunch ok?”
“I know, but I like to be nice and it's nice to share.” Kid has no idea he is being bullied and is happy with a big grin on his face!
It is a fine line that we walk as parents to train our kids, and the next generation, to be good people, but also show them that the world can be a place where people will take advantage of you. Little Man is getting the hang of it. I guess that I never realized that showing him all those good manners that I would in time have to talk with him about the times when you remember and use them, but you still stand your ground and be firm and don't get trampled.