So to make sure that things go together I have started another blog that will have to do with ADD in adults, my journey about ADD and an adult going back to school and dealing with ADD at the same time. Its gonna be crazy so I figured writing about it will not only help me figure it out, but hopefully help someone else out there if they choose to read the things that I write. The URL for the new blog goes like this addyousuck.blogspot.com Please check it out! I would love your feedback! Thank you very much!
So I am starting this now and I may post part of it and then finish with another post later on.
My family and friends and I have always joked about me having ADD. I can't focus on things and I say the most random things out of nowhere. There is much more to it then that, but l'll explain more later. Anyway, I recently recorded a special on PBS called ADD and loving it. This was a very eye opening thing for me to watch. The things that the special attributes to ADD were things that I have disliked about myself for as long as I can remember and I had not even the slightest clue that they went hand in hand! So this is kind of a hard thing to talk about, which I'm pretty eureka the first time I've ever said that! Lol. Anyway because it has so much to do about the things I don't like about myself, it is a hard thing to put out there. So I have decided to write about it and what better place then here to do it!
I have not yet been officially diagnosed with this yet. This is one of the reasons that I am so scared and nervous. Am I using this disorder that people are dealing with and having such a hard time with as an excuse for things I don't like about myself so that I can live with bad behavior that I have taught myself?! I have very strong mixed feelings about being diagnosed. If I do have it, then I have a name to put to these crazy thoughts and angering failures that have plagued me for so long. On the other hand if they say I don't have it, then all these failures are mine, and I have no one or nothing to blame, nothing to get rid of this huge weight off my shoulders. If not then its just me and my faults, short comings and failures staring at each other in a dark scary room. The only thing that I can think of that's worse then that room is sitting in it when there may be a way out. With this in mind I will do what I can this week to find out the answer to this question. I'm scared, but I can't let my family deal with my ignoring them and snapping at them just because I can't get my head to focus on that chapter I have to read before class tomorrow, not when there is possible way out of this crazy upside down world that is my head. Part 2 and many more to come.
“Little Man if you don’t hurry up and get that room clean you will not be playing Mario today or tomorrow!”
“Ok daddy I’m hurrying.” Music to my ears! Then he is done in minutes and we go on about our business for the day. There is a flaw in this otherwise wondrous plan. He is catching on! He has been great! He is doing all the things that I have been telling him. My plan is awesome!
Wait! He is doing so well that he is playing games constantly! This is no good at all! Stop being so smart child! You are not supposed to catch on to my parenting ways so quickly. I have an image of Little Man sitting in my basement at 30 years old in a recliner that will forever have his butt print in it.
I am starting to think that my parents had it right when video games were not allowed in our house. Their thoughts were if they weren’t there then I would not feel the urge to play them. WRONG! So I am taking a different approach. They are in the house, but we are very tightly monitoring them. My thinking is that if he gets to play them while growing up that they will not be so sensational when he gets older that they take over his life, basically learning the balance now. There is balance in all things and this is included. So once again I am teaching Little Man something that is just hitting me.
So today he did a good job cleaning his room after school. He was not happy at all when he came to me asking to play the Wii and I told him no that he needed to find something else to do. As before mentioned I have started school recently and I am now having tons of homework that I was working on at that moment. So he went to his second go to thing to do, playing outside. Perfect, just what I wanted him to do. So he gets his jacket on and heads out the door. We have a gate on the front of our apartment that can be a pain to open, but he can get it. I see him working on it and then stop and walk back in.
“My hands are cold and I can’t find my gloves. I think I’m just gonna stay inside.” No! Not what I wanted. So he stays inside and proceeds to walk around me making every conceivable noise known to man. Eventually my head explodes and I let him play for a bit so that I can think enough to finish the homework that was due that night.
So obviously giving in is not the long term answer to the problem. Along with my idea of him learning balance in video games, apparently I have to teach it to him! This is going to be fun.
So my position at the company that I was working for got eliminated. Basically they had me training the owners son so that I was not needed anymore. I'm not bitter about this, but I gets calls from the guy a few times a week asking how to do things. There will be an update on that part of things soon. If they think that 6 months of on again off again training will replace 8 years of in the feild experience they are crazier then I thought they were.
So no job at the time, I decided to go back to school as my wife already had. I was able to work my school schedule perfectly so that I am going full time, working and no one but me and my wife are taking care of our 5 year old crazy son, who will be from now on called Little Man. So I am taking classes now. I decided that going along with my 8 years experience that will major in fire technology, or FT, BUT I am also taking 2 journalism classes! There is that change in the way that I am writing! It really cool! I am loving the classes and am greatly looking forward to learning so much more.
Now as for the content, obviously I am still interested in all the same things, i.e. sports, beer, video games, and cooking. I just don't have nearly the time (or money) for those things any more. I still do them and will still write about them, I just maybe a little more family oriented now as that takes up a majority of my free time now.
So I just wanted to let you know whats been going down and why you haven't heard from me. You will be hearing a little more from me know and I am really looking forward to it. I am going to posting writing projects on here and things like that also so if you guys have any ideas or criticism don't hesitate to let me know about them in the comment PLEASE!!!! Also if you guys have any great ideas on articles to be written please let me know!